Anxiety and Paralysis

Dear Doll-face,

You know me by now, I haven't posted because I have yet to receive any sorts of good news.  Last week I went to two job interviews on the same day.. they were both WONDERFUL and AMAZING and both told me I would hear back either way... and both said not to expect to hear anything until after Thanksgiving.

This morning I got a call about setting up an interview with another place, but the interview isn't until December 7th. It's crazy how far out some of these interviews are.  But then again, I have been applying at some places that would do very intense background checks. If I don't get something soon though, there will be no luxury here... I will HAVE to just take something somewhere.

I'm so glad to see your sewing on facebook. I am so proud of you.  You have talent that I don't have and I'm  just shy of 10 years older than you.

Also I can't help you with your war against Ryan, sorry.  He's just kind of like an annoying uncle.. you love him, but he bothers the crap out of you sometimes.. and the best part is that he's not going anywhere because he's family.

I made unicorn poop this weekend.. *sugar cookies* They were pretty amazing tasting.  I also plan on decorating the house for Christmas this coming weekend.  Maybe I'll post some pictures of that when I get it finished.  I keep hoping that I'll start working soon and Christmas won't be so miserable.  It's likely to be our last month with two roommates.

Mike is looking at the news of being deployed in January, and if that doesn't happen he's planning on moving to Ohio with his sister for a while.  There is a girl out there he is sort of seeing, I think he just sort of wants to give that a real shot.  Not to mention there have just been some things that have happened around here... he wants to get away from. I don't blame him.  I would too.

On Thanksgiving we're going up to see my mom.  I had to talk her into NOT making an entire turkey, and just getting a turkey breast and putting it in her slow cooker.  It was pretty obvious when we first talked about it that she had been mulling over the need for leftovers for grandpa.. and I had to sort of remind her that no, we wouldn't need a lot of leftovers.  I still cry on and off.  Mostly in private.  He died, then I lost my job, and I just don't think I've been processing things very well.

Anyway, I'm going to get sort of dressed...*which means put on a clean shirt and different pj's* because it's Thanksgiving break.. and two of the jobs that I am really hoping to get said to enjoy the holiday time and that I'd hear back next week.  So that's what I'll do.

Love you, miss you.... take care of yourself.

Week 1 has passed...

Dear Doll-face,

I went to the interview, and sadly it is only seasonal work.  This blows.  However they said if they were interested in me, they would call back early this week for the second round of interviewing.  I will not turn down any job, however if I get another interview while I'm there, for full time or non-seasonal, I'm going to have to take it.

I put in another application this evening.  I was able to just relax and not worry about job hunting over the weekend, I knew no one would be in.. however tomorrow is Monday and it's time to get back on the horse. I applied at a bank, there is another place that I am VERY interested in who are hiring a fresh round of employees now too... sadly they aren't going to start their training process until December.  If they were all I got it would be frustrating to go an entire month without a job, but they are someone I actually WANT to work for... not just someone I WOULD work for.

I keep hoping tomorrow my phone will start just ringing off the hook with calls about interviews. I keep hoping to wake up and not be unemployed.  I've lost all motivation. My anxiety sky rockets at night, when my body is anxious to do something.. anything.. I keep telling myself I will start the piles of laundry, clean up the house... make use of this time.  Instead I am paralyzed.  We need to BUY things... those things cost money... and my last paycheck comes Wednesday.. it will only be a partial check.  Maybe 200$ if I'm lucky.

I guess the good news is, is that if we can make it through November, I have until January 1st before I we are flat broke and screwed.  I just don't think I can last another week of wondering if I'll get a job.

Last week I told myself I would have something by Friday.. I did manage to get an interview.. and that was epic.. now hopefully this week I can do one step better and actually land something.