Being On Hold...

Dear Doll-face,

There is just nothing in the world that is as frustrating and nerve wracking as being on hold, especially when you are on hold for a government assistance phone line.

At work there is a customer who used to be a professor in the Sociology Department   When he found out that I had graduated from the Sociology program and that I had transferred from the social work program, he had a lot of questions for me.  More importantly, he didn't understand what someone with a degree was doing working as a seamstress in a dry cleaners.

I explained to him briefly that I was the wife of someone on a student visa, and that I opted to work for a couple of years rather than go into the program I wanted to start and have to stop half way through.  He understood that.

But still couldn't get his head around the entire switch.  I told him that I was too tender hearted for social work, and that sociology was that extra step away from people and closer to research, which is where I was more comfortable. He still doesn't understand.  It's hard to explain to someone when they aren't you why things just feel differently.  The social work department was just not working for me, I wasn't challenged   It was too intuitive.

"Thank your patience, please continue to hold for the next available representative."

He was also willing to try and help me get out of potentially having to leave the US.  He has a lawyer in Chicago who works primarily with immigration. He said that since we are married we may be able to plead that leaving the US would cause hardship to me, which could help us both stay. I smiled and thanked him for the advice, and told him I would keep it in mind.  I also immediately let it roll off my back. What will happen, will happen.

I spent 21 minutes on hold today, I will just have to try again on Monday.

Take care of yourself.

Help Me

Dear Doll-face,

I am enlisting your help.

Tell your brother that these are what I want for Christmas.

This Apron!

and....

This t-shirt in Grey!

Please, help my cause.  I am hopeful that I will get many more of her items, but these are the things I desire most.

Also I promise I will blog about real life things soon.. there is a development afoot.... I shall update you when it happens.

Failure...

Dear Doll-face,

Are you even keeping up? I told you to make a youtube video or I would die.. and strangely enough I have been COMPLETELY sick since I said that.  I blame you.

Today is the first morning all week that I've woken up and prayed not to fall into a coma so I didn't actually have to get up. Sadly this virus has now moved into my chest so now I am coughing.  Wonderful.  But at least I am not blowing my nose every 20 minutes, and I am surviving off medication which is an odd bonus to my existence right now. Your brother's been feeling pretty icky too..

Oh child, I didn't know when I started working on alterations at work, to make things more easy for my manger and customers, that I would end up NEEDING to hem at least 6 pairs of pants a day to keep up.  If I was working off their books I would be making a small fortune.  I am for sure not making as much as a legitimate seamstress makes.

Correction: I'm not.. evidently for people who charge by the hour, the going rate is a minimum of 10$ with well practiced people boasting about 20$.

I need to get paid more.

Anyway, I love you, and I am sad you didn't value my life enough to create a youtube video for me.. but am glad the fates decide to just make me sick instead of straight up killing me.

Miss you darling.

Pumpkin!

Hey Doll-Face,

Doesn't it look clean!?

I've been BUSY. Ryan the great came to visit this weekend so we had to clean your mom's room.  I so hated you Saturday. In your too lazy and pathetic to laundry phase you dug out a lot of clothes and left them around the floor so I did 3 extra loads of laundry to clean up your mess.  Stupid teenagers. You're lucky I love you.

Seriously... so much mess. Our garbage can is overflowing because Michael and I got rid of so much stuff that was ours that was just sitting in there.

I'm starting to get less depressed and lonely feeling. I started trying to reconnect with an old roomie. I forgot how much she grounded me when I was stressed out. It's nice to talk about stupid crap again and spend time with people besides your league obsessed brother.

This is his "I miss you" face,

Ryan misses you too. He wants you to hurry up and work on feeling better so you can come back and he can teach you to drive the stick shift.  You remember his sweet porsche. Also Ryan is a better driver than your brother.

Wednesday night I am going out for pizza with a friend from work. It should be interesting.

Oh child, I feel awful that I don't blog as often as I used to when I started, but sometimes when I don't have anything interesting to report I feel bad. Maybe I should just start listing all the things I eat in a day on those days?  Maybe???

I have a seasonal cold. It sucks balls.  Soo many balls. I miss you.  I made the boys breakfast Sunday morning and missed making you lunch breakfast on Sunday mornings...

Make me a youtube video or I'll die.

*I may or may not be on lots of cold medication right now*

Types Of Crazy

Dear Doll-face,

You may remember a time where I had a crazy roommate, and she was always getting into trouble.  Last night I found out she is in Intensive Care at the hospital because she took a lethal dose of Tylenol. I found out because my sister called, she didn't want me to hear it through the grape vine.

So I thought I'd take this moment to teach, and use it.

There are two types of certified crazy people in the world Dollie.  There are the people who know they are nuts, know they can't handle it alone, know they need help, and get it.  These are the people who actively take their meds, never miss therapy, and talk about their problems when it gets too overwhelming for them. These are the people who ask for help. These are the people who see the patterns in their behavior and understand that you can't do something the same every time and hope for a different outcome.  These are people like you, and me.. we know that it can and will get worse sometimes, but we know that with help, and work, it will eventually get better.

Then there are the others.  The people who are so lost in their own little worlds that it becomes like a stage.  It's like their life is a bad play, and no one wants to buy tickets anymore.  You see, they probably have a bad past, they come from a rough background littered with abuse.  Then they grow up, and the instances don't stop. They become victims because that's all they know how to be.  They are repeatedly offered help.  They get lots of therapy, lots of medication, but you can just see it in their eyes they don't take it seriously when they put themselves in dangerous situations again and again. They KNOW what will cause them to have a break down, and still, despite knowing better put themselves in situations where it's exceedingly possible for them to have one.  These are the people who are hurt, and they know it feels better when people are around and paying attention to them. They know it feels good to be surrounded by friends and family.. Sadly what they don't realize is that when the friends and family get tired of all the drama, and all of the self centered-ness they are going to walk away...

This is what has happened to this old roommate of mine. She doesn't want to get better.. not truly. She pines to be normal, and doesn't understand how to get there.  She knows that when she is sick, or in a risky situation people pay attention to her.  She knows the attention makes her feel better.  What she also knows is that when people start to ignore her she's got to do something big to get their attention again. This time she OD'd on pain killers and then started throwing out text messages about wanting to die.

I feel so sorry for her. I feel so sorry that in all the hours of therapy she has still missed the most basic of lessons.  But I also feel awful because I completely analyzed the entire situation, and deducted that this was a play for attention.

This girl is very smart, has a BA in biology and is diabetic.  If she wanted to die, and I mean REALLY wanted to die, she could have done it--easily.  People who are SERIOUSLY trying to die don't OD on medication and then start texting people.  She was crying out for attention and was WILLING to die for her cause.  People who really want to kill themselves and HAVE more lethal means *such as enough insulin to put themselves into a coma* use those more lethal means. They don't play around.

I am not saying she doesn't feel hopeless. I am not saying she doesn't feel like she wants to go away forever..

But her actions are as such that it doesn't really look like she wants to die.  She wants help/attention.

Doll-face,

There are two types of crazy people in the world.  Promise me you'll always be the first one.  Pull yourself up by your own boot straps.. get help when you know you're sinking too deep to help yourself.  Understand that the people around you want to support you getting better, not constantly watch you make a shit-show of yourself.  Get better, come home.  We miss you to pieces.

Why I Haven't Written Lately..

Dear Doll-face,

Meet Kain, he's just your average sim.

Okay, not that average... he also happens to be an inventor.

An inventor who has secrets.. but who doesn't?!

You can't judge him just because he's a little obsessed with Alchemy....

Oh, well and there is Bonehilda...

but she just cleans up around the house when he's busy... and trust me.. Kain gets pretty busy.

You see, a while back Kain got himself into some trouble.

But don't worry!

It's not fatal!

You see, what I neglected to mention was that Kain Nyne happens to moonlight as a werewolf.

Something seems to be bothering him though....

A Fairy!

Not just any fairy though... his best friend and roommate...

(Zombies always ruin everything...)

Meet Zephire Songbird...

She's a bit of a trickster...

But luckily for Kain she is mostly busy talking to the enchanted mirror...

With love,
Rebecca

Sooo Supernatural.

Dear Doll-face,

So Supernatural came out yesterday/today for the Sims 3. My second favorite sims let's player has already started her let's play of the newest expansion pack.  This is what I will be sitting and watching on youtube for a while. Be warned her let's play usually don't really get going until the second episode because she goes through all the create-a-sim content. I've had a HORRIBLE case of the PEPS *pre-expansion pack syndrome* which is why I put my legacy on pause.  Yesterday was the first day I'd played in a long time and I only played because I was inspired by Andrew Arcade. *my favorite let's player* If you ever miss the sims too much I highly recommend watching his sims let's plays because he's so hilarious. I wish I had a better graphics card so I could get BOTH supernatural and seasons, but I'm just going to have to hold out for seasons in November.  I figure with seasons I'll get more bang for my buck by doubling game play by adding seasons, where as super natural I'm just getting the world of magic which would only add to SOME sims scenarios. *Note how I minimize how much I love magic in the sims so I don't try and get both despite knowing better*

So I COMPLETELY blew this weekend. I stayed in my pajamas ALL weekend.  I did NOTHING.  Sunday Michael and I watched the North American Regional's for League.  Monday we just sat around.  It felt good to do nothing.  I'm sad that it ends today when I go back to work.  I'm actually procrastinating hopping in the shower and getting ready for work.

So I am playing that first mega episode of Quxxns let's play in the background... which is all the create-a-sim stuff... I just flipped over to glance at what she was raving about and got insta-mad about how cute her sim looked in the new custom content.

I think I drown out my loneliness and lack of female friends with sims.  I'm probably going to start marathoning on it.. so if I were you I wouldn't be surprised if I started posting pictures of my master thief I created yesterday.

Last quick thing, Michael left his slippers at my mom's house a while ago, and she just sent this picture to me. The caption was "MINE!" but it looks more like "I miss you!" It makes me miss my puppy.  Miss you darling.  Don't forget it's completely legitimate to Skype us, even if you just wanna play a game and have us in the background to babble at.. and just because I'm not "online" doesn't mean I'm not sometimes just invisible.  I love you!