I bet you think you're big tits now since today's your 16th birthday. Well I've got some news for you, 16 is probably the most awkward age there is.
I mean sure, is has its bonuses. There is nothing like your first big love at 16. Sure, you may have had a fling before but there's something magical about being sixteen that makes you feel like it might last forever. You also go through that amazing phase of feeling like you have achieved greatness, you're untouchable and that you have the power to own the world. It's tempting to feel like you're actually finally free. This feeling will only become more intoxicating once you actually get behind the wheel of a car alone for the first time, and realize no one can actually stop you once you put it into gear.
Alas, these are the things that your imagination will treat you to.. sure some of it may be real, but let's be honest 16 is just a hyped up age where your hormones are raging which means that EVERYTHING feels more dramatic. (If you ever need an example of drama just ask your dear old sister-in-law about her circle of friends when she was 16, she's got some stories that are full of teens hopped up on drama educing hormones.) But in case you were wondering, here's a list of the things that you can NOW magically do, just because you made it to today:
- Get married or register a civil partnership with consent (Good thing, right? You can't let yourself become an old maid by 18..)
- Drive a moped or invalid carriage (sweet, you should get a vespa)
- You can consent to sexual activity with others aged 16 and over (Just don't tell us about it until you're married.. we will always pretend you are as innocent as a lamb)
- Drink wine/beer with a meal if accompanied by someone over 18 (Not that we've ever stopped you, Huzzah!)
- Get a National Insurance number (wooo! someone to pay for my mistakes while I pay them just in case I accidentally make one)
- Join a trade union (because 'MERICA!)
- Work full-time if you have left school (Why would you want to work? There is internet...)
- Be paid national minimum wage for 16/17 year olds (WOO! Money, not as much as the rest of the population, but still.. WOO money!)
- Join the Armed Forces with parental consent (In case you decide that neither hugs or drugs are your slated path in life..)
- Change name by deed poll (now you can legally change your name to be Doll-Face, because that's what the cool kids are doing)
- Leave home with parental consent (In the sense that you can move out.. not just walk out angrily for a while..)
- Consent to medical treatment (They can not longer FORCE you to take shots, YAY)
- Buy premium bonds (Because you have a use for those, ya know..)
- Pilot a glider (You weren't afraid of heights, were you?)
- Buy a lottery ticket (Too bad you can't claim the winnings until you're 18..)
- Register as a blood donor, but you won't be called to give blood until you're 17 (At least you'll be on the list!)
- Apply for a passport without parental consent (Why would anyone do this?? I don't even understand?? :P)
Intense, huh? It's okay because the list will only continue to get longer as you get older.
Just do us all a favor and don't be too eager to embrace the miniature adult within. We like our teenage Doll-face and aren't necessarily ready to let go of her yet.
Happy Birthday! Congratulations on this mega milestone that we celebrate because society arbitrarily decided that 16 was a good age to let you operate a motor vehicle. We love you so much. (We also are so sad that we didn't get to actually speak to you on your birthday, trust me.. we're miserable.)
P.S. You can also count on me not to get into a car with you behind the wheel until you're 30.. because your mum and brother will probably teach you, and their driving scares me.
No comments:
Post a Comment