Distance

Dear Doll-face,

So my father and I have agreed that we just don't know where to start anymore.  At my grandparents anniversary party we called a truce of sorts, and agreed that the biggest problem in our relationship was that we didn't know where to start anymore.

He has been in and out of my life since he left my mom.  We're probably both at fault, during different phases. He had expectations that I think were a bit high for a teenager, I got angry and used honesty as a weapon.  There were half-hearted attempts on both ends through the years.  There has been times of giving up, and times of trying.  In the end it comes down to one thing, and one thing only.

We are basically strangers.

I hardly know anything about him, I just know things.  I can tell you what some of his interests are, and I can ramble things off.  But I don't know him at all.  I don't really know what his tastes are, what he does on a daily basis, what his life is like.

But he doesn't know anything about me either.  In fact, he probably knows less. I've been growing up all these years, and for the most part I've left him out of it.  (And at times he has just ignored it.)

He invited me up for his birthday, I think instead of attending the big family ordeal, I ask him if he wants to meet up for lunch or dinner on a day near by it... I've been demonized for years (and no one can tell me that's not at least sort of true with out at least kind of lying) so I don't really want to just jump into the ranks.  I think it would be better to start slow.

And slow is how we shall take it.

Miss you darling, take care of yourself.